Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
