I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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