he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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