how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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