ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
