You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
