I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
