its not stalking. its research.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
