Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize