if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize