dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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