I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I wear drunk well.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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