Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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