she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
