CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
