I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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