So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
