There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
