So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
