Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
