i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
