just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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