You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
