I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
