sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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