His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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