There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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