I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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