great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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