If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
