Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
