hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
