i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
