how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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