I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If I die, sorry about rent.
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