I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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