Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize