It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize