so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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