you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
my poor anus
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
