i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
