I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
