I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
