k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we're making bets on your personal life
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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