I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
