His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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