Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
