so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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