$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
