You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
