I wanna bring you to show and tell
farters have to be the big spoon...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
