I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
