my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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