I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
