I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
