She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
